Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
