I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize