sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
