Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
