Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
