2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
