I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
