How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
