my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize