Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
