I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
