She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Enjoy the penises
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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