it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
