I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
