Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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