I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
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