we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize