Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need water and some morals
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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