theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
