Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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