Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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