Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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