WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
