clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
