is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
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I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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