Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
