:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
