I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
