Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am spending my child support on dildos
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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