I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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