I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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