Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
