I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize