That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
