mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
