So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
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Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
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make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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