Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
