She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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