i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
