So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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