He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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