it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
