Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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