found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
