Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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