Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
