watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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