We won't sleep together?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
