My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
