i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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