so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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