Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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