whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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