Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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