The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Randomize
