the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize