he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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