he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
