If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
