He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
