So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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