Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
