He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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