life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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