We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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