ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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