Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
